How to feel more at home with yourself?

Hi all lovely people,

I realised I have not sent a motivational mail last month.

It’s a bit of a shock that weeks have passed so quickly.

We have been on a trip back to my home country to visit family. I haven’t been back there since May 2019 and it was wonderful. First time introducing our nearly 3-year-old daughter to her second home country too. Although The Netherlands is my home country, Scotland is my adopted homeland and the place where I feel most at home. I always wondered why that is.

What makes us feel at home somewhere? Is it the people, family, location, work, or friends? I thought about it often and it might be a combination of all of them. Why does where you live mean so much to us?  What can we do to feel more at home with ourselves instead?

What does this mean for you? Are you happy with your partner, and children and feel safe and happy because they are there? We often make so many sacrifices for our basic human needs, for others and our work, for family, our children, living costs, and the community, that we often forget to come home to ourselves and truly think of our needs. It’s OK to make more choices that make you feel happy, and you feel good. We often feel this is frowned upon, selfish, and unnecessary. But you can’t pour from an empty cup.

I have clients who feel they don’t have the right to their own small space in the house where they feel rested and come back to themselves as others need it more. You can allow yourself to think about your needs too. What do you need? What can you do for yourself today that brings you closer to that feeling more at home?

My top 3 Rituals that I apply to come home to myself:

1.      I have my own space in the home where I meditate, and be still. It’s only a tiny space, so if you don’t have a spare room, use your nightstand, or shed, it doesn’t matter. I have a few of my favorite candles there and some stones that I collected from a very special beach. This is the place where I can come home to myself, and be still.

2.      Don’t devalue yourself and your accomplishments. You are more important than you will ever know. You matter a lot to the people in your life. Your children, your partner, your parents, family, siblings, and friends. They love you, so love yourself too, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Cherish yourself and talk kindly to yourself like you would do to your own child. Send love to yourself.

3.      Take time out of your busy life to do something you love to do. In our busy schedules, we often forget about ourselves. Children are taking over, work is nonstop, there is always a deadline and always so many things to do. We might go on a time management course to juggle with time best, but when did you really take time out for yourself? Don’t feel guilty to plan a retreat away from everyday life or go abroad with a friend for a day. Go shopping on your own, to the movies, or to dinner with a friend.

What can you do to come home to yourself?