Letting Go of Toxic Friends
Hi All,
While writing this and having my morning coffee, I was reflecting on the idea of toxic friends. Spring Clean your relationships this month by critically looking at your inner circle. Do they all have your best interest at heart? Do they make you feel good about yourself? Do they celebrate your dreams and achievements, or do they put you down? It is important for our own mental health to keep raising our vibration and energy. Toxic friends need to go.
I recently had a shocking moment where I suddenly realised that one of my friends, who I thought of as a friend, was not having my best interest at heart at all. You see, I am a classic people pleaser. I know I attract people who take advantage of this quite often. A public event took place where I felt humiliated, misunderstood, and betrayed by her.
I was annoyed at myself as I let it happen. Another friend, who had silently watched the event, asked me why I had let this happen? She said to me: ‘you know better than this. She was right. I let it happen. I wasn’t a victim, I needed to take ownership of the situation that ‘I’ in some way needed her and attracted her to my inner circle.
It was a wake-up call because I have been here before and I thought I had learned my lesson.
Do you think you have toxic friends in your life and how to recognise them?
My 6 signs of toxic friendships:
🐋They only contact you if they want something from you. But if you, on the other hand, have a rough time, they don’t have time.
🐋They don’t celebrate your achievements. They pretend they have your best interest at heart by being critical of your latest achievements but in reality, are putting you down. ‘You got that job? Is that a good idea? Are you sure this is wise? Salary is quite low, you deserve more.’ There is a difference between being genuinely happy for your friend, being honest with them, asking questions, and secret jealousy, and asking you questions to lower your vibrations and energy on purpose, so they feel better about themselves.
🐋They make you feel bad about yourself all the time. How do you feel when you spend time with them? Are you feeling drained after the evening? If you constantly pouring energy into them but do not get anything in return ever, let this be a wake-up call. True friendship is equal. Friends make us feel valued, loved, and special because this is what we deserve.
🐋They always talk about themselves. They never ask about you or when they do, very briefly but do not really listen.
🐋They never take responsibility for their own lives. It is always somebody else’s fault. The world is out to get them. You constantly offer solutions and give advice, but they never take action to make things better. They probably are classic victims, and this is a badge of honour they wear with pride. Don’t fall for it as it is a way of getting attention all the time.
🐋They gossip about other friends badly. When your friend talks about other friends badly around their back, this is a true alarm bell. Although they make it sound like you are special to them and they tell you this because you both are true friends, I guarantee you, they do it behind your back too. Gossip is an easy way of temporarily raising your own vibration and energy by lowering others. It will never work long-term and it will only drain you too.
If you recognise these signs in your own friendships, be on your guard. It is not easy to end negative friendships, not even for the highest good. But it is necessary and possible. There are several ways to do it and you don’t have to be angry or dramatic in ending it. Simply limiting your contact time together is a good start. Set clear boundaries and think about what this friendship is worth to you? Can you talk about it first? Think about why you need them or why you attracted this person in the first place?
If you need some help with this and want to explore your inner circle together, Spring Clean your relationships so you can feel happy again, contact me. I offer you and your contacts a special 1:1 coaching session around this. Quote Motivational Mail in your message to me and we agree on a 20% discount.