Learning from Narcissists: A Guide for Empaths at Work
'Years ago, I remember talking to my colleague in a shared desk environment, we shared job experiences and previous ships we sailed on.
When my colleague was sharing his experience with me, it shocked me when I immediately sensed he was lying about all of it. After I did a fact check I was gobsmacked and very subtly confronted him with the truth and asked him about certain experiences that he couldn’t explain.
He still refused to go with the proven truth and instead came up with more lies and twisted tails. When there was no way out, he started going against me telling lies and stories about me and how mean I was to him. He would turn the whole team against me with his obvious charm and master manipulation techniques. He refused to work and talk to me. I felt defeated.'
Understanding Empaths and Energy:
Empaths operate on a different wavelength, attuned to the energy fields surrounding us. Beyond individual thought, there exists a collective consciousness, a shared pool of energy and ideas connecting us all. This phenomenon transcends time and space, shaping our interactions and influencing our experiences in profound ways.
Navigating the Workplace as an Empath:
In professional settings, empaths often find themselves dealing with the emotional currents of their surroundings. Sensing tension in an empty meeting room or deciphering unspoken cues from colleagues, empaths can read people like nobody else can, a skill honed from childhood as a survival mechanism.
The Role of Narcissists:
Enter the narcissist, a personality type characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance, arrogance, and a lack of empathy. Interestingly, many narcissists stem from similarly challenging backgrounds as empaths, yet they adopt a starkly contrasting coping mechanism. Suppressing their authentic selves, narcissists construct a facade of confidence and superiority to shield themselves from inner insecurities.
Learning from the Contrast:
Despite their differences, empaths and narcissists often find themselves drawn to each other, particularly in professional settings. This dynamic offers a unique learning opportunity, (Oh yeh!)
Empaths can get insights from narcissists' self-assured demeanour, while narcissists serve as mirrors, reflecting the importance of self-preservation and assertiveness.
Empowering Empaths in the Workplace:
Instead of feeling a victim, empaths can reclaim their power by reframing their interactions with narcissistic individuals. Rather than viewing them solely as adversaries, consider them as your teachers offering invaluable lessons in self-protection and boundary-setting.
I attract narcissists everywhere I go, and I burned out a few times because I could not cope with them without feeling incredibly frustrated and worn out. Empaths can see through a narcissist persona and feel the same pain as within ourselves, except we cannot fix it. The narcissist isn’t aware of this false sense of self at all. So, walk away.
They hold us a mirror too. They are protecting themselves only. Whereas empaths are people pleasers and over-giving their energy, narcissists only take and take and never please you for you but for themselves only.
As empaths come across a narcissist at work, this is by far their biggest challenge in life.
Emotional feelings wheel
Key takeaways:
Instead of feeling the victim, try and ask yourself the following questions:
What can I learn from this person?
What do they teach me?
How can I show up differently to protect my energy?
Embrace the opportunity for personal growth presented by interactions with narcissists.
Recognise the importance of self-preservation and assertiveness in maintaining emotional well-being.
Seek a balance between giving and protecting your energy reserves in professional environments.
We Empaths are givers and healers by nature, yes, but being ourselves at work is not enough if we burn out. Wearing an armour is not enough as we suffocate our light and joy we naturally want to share with others.
Learn to protect your energy as an empath and learn to give where it matters - Tineke Zoet
If you read this and you feel particularly challenged by a narcissistic coworker in your life, parents, or friend, I have a free master class coming up that discusses this topic in full.
Please contact me for dates and sign up for one of my coaching programs: hello@tinekezoet.com or drop me a line on LinkedIn.
#hsp #highlysensitiveperson #empath #happyatwork #narcissism #workplacewellbeing #toxicworkplace
